I'm Bored

I’m bored. Today is my day off and I’m bored…I mean, how sad is that! And while I’m recording this for the benefit of future posterity, I spot an impudent cockroach sticking its antennae out of its hole-in-the-wall hideout. The critter is probably considering embarking on a foraging expedition, or maybe a mating expedition, or, fuck, he could be as bored as I am and just looking forward to a change in scenery.

My eyes instinctively swerve towards the slippers. I make sure at least one of the pair is within reach and calculate the dimensions of the kill zone, before returning my attention to my newfound roommate.

Kafka, as I’ve decided to call him, emerged into the shadows, and stopped to take the measure of his surroundings. Meanwhile, his size served as a reminder of the inefficacy of my powder pesticide against medium- and small-sized members of his species - the smaller ones hide in the pipes while the big ones are caught in the manholes with their (metaphorical) pants down.

While tracing the line at which the wall meets the floor, Kafka swiftly scuttled towards the bedside table, where the crumbs from last night’s dinner resided. My eyes followed him.

“The level of sophistication in state-of-the-art artificial intelligence hasn't yet reached the level of cockroaches. Consider survival tactics: When under threat, a cockroach executes evasion maneuvers which…”

The voice of my college lecturer droned on somewhere inside my head, while my slipper-wielding hand hovered in anticipation.

*

Later, as I watched the ants pick Kafka apart, and took notice of his limbs’ faint, spasmodic twitches, I wondered if he’ll visit me in my dreams tonight.

Posted: 03-01-2022
Tags: vignette